Growing up, I always heard blow jobs described as the ne plus ultra of sex. On the other side, though, when that doesn’t happen, your consciousness just sort of drifts off into this place where it’s like the pleasure is all you’re aware of. It’s not like the blow job stops feeling good, but at best I start feeling like I’m enduring what I see as “the chore,” and at worst I feel guilty.
I don’t care if you like it or not, it’s your job, so do it” and I hate that. It makes me think my partner believes there’s a part of me that’s like, “Hey, pleasure me. Sometimes there’s this definite sense that it’s perfunctory. I guess it’s something like a cross between having sex and masturbating, but with a feeling of domination, a fulfilling one, because someone else is doing all the hard work. Blow jobs feel great, but it’s hard to describe the exact sensation. Getting off is related to my thoughts at the time. I think I’m more cerebral than a lot of guys. There must be a crossed wire in my brain somewhere. Also, getting a BJ makes my teeth hurt for some reason - a literal tingling pain in the molars akin to chewing foil. I’m much more submissive and get off on sucking much more than getting sucked. I think most are just mediocre in terms of technique, and a basic BJ seems pretty vanilla in the grand scheme of what’s available to a horny gay guy in New York. I spent lots of time at JCPenney once I got my driver’s license. I was done and back by my mother’s side in the missy section before she realized I’d been gone. He whispered for me to get on my knees and stick it under, so I did, and he gave me an expert and very fast blow job (you can search “under stall” on Xtube if you’re curious about the mechanics - it’s an important genre!). I saw a horny old man beating off, and began to do the same - obviously. I was shopping with my mother in JCPenney and I discovered a peephole between the stalls. The most illicit BJ I’ve ever received took place in a mall bathroom. It can be great - amazing even - if it’s illicit, like under a bathroom stall, or if the power and/or service and/or sub angle is exploited, but mostly I find it a total bore and much prefer to give than to get. It’s the wokest sex act masquerading as the most degrading.
I’m dominant but she’s making the choice for herself. On her knees seems submissive, but to me it’s the perfect balance. It’s clearly her choice, and the more clearly it seems like her choice, the better it is for me. To me, in a twisted way, it seems like one of the few things that couldn’t secretly still be rape. The one thing uniting them all - and often clouding the experience - is a pretty weighty level of anxiety. One guy in his 20s told me he’d do anything to avoid his wife placing her lips near his gone-to-seed pubic area, while another earnestly confessed that he asks his boyfriend to suck his dick at least seven times a night. I grilled men in bars and over the phone and G-chat until I was satisfied with the quality of their description of what is supposedly the most highly savored sexual act.Īs the selection of ten we’ve picked out below demonstrates, the answers were (predictably) varied. Men explain things to women all the time, but they never seem to tell us what we really want to know: What does a blow job actually feel like? In order to get some answers, I canvassed strangers, friends, and friends of friends. “As though I am a wild dolphin running through the ocean.”
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